OTD

So it's official test day, I'm 15dpo, or 12dp3dt or 4w+1d pregnant....for now.
Beta HCG is 13, so although technically I'll need to repeat the blood test in a few days, it's too low for the amount of days I've been getting lines, so waiting to bleed/miscarry.
Devastated.

9dp3dt....

I'm really starting to go round the bend!
This mornings test was almost negative and the line faded to nothing with an hour or two!  However, I did another test at 10h25 (I test better a bit later) and there's a nice line, it's still quite faint but it has dawned on me that they were stronger with LO at this stage cause she was a twin so my hcg would have been slightly higher - this meant there was less time between them getting darker too, phew!

With a filter;



Without a filter;

7dp3dt, B....F....?

On the photo it says 8dp3dt, I am in fact 7dp3dt, baby brain already!

Trigger Testing!

Today I'm 8dp (days past) trigger, and 3dp3dt (days past, day transfer).
I think the trigger test is finally negative.
I am TERRIFIED of starting to test for a bfp, I usually test everyday, but might actually wait until I'm much closer to OTD (official test day).
With our IVF miracle, we were blessed with an early bfp at 7dp2dt, but I feel like that might be cause we started with twins, and there's very little chance of that now (only if the embryo splits) so I think I need to wait longer.  I may start testing from 9dp3dt, I don't know if I need to try and hold out until then, or pluck up the courage to poas (pee on a stick) then, lol!

IVF Prayer.

Dear Father in Heaven, 

I pray to you today to protect and guide all of Your children who are plagued with the devastation and frustration that fertility issues cause them. 

For all of the women who are going through egg retrievals today, give them peace and calmness to alleviate their fears and physical pain. Bless them with an abundance of viable eggs and healthy fertilization. Watch over the development of the babies and keep them warm and safe in Your Hands. 

For all of the women who are going through embryo transfers today, give them patience and hope for all of the blessings that You may endow on them. Give them healthy and strong babies to survive the difficult yet joyful journey that they have ahead. 

For all of the women who are going through the two-week-wait today, give them courage and strength to wait for the joyous news. Allow them to focus on the positive outcomes and to pamper and treat their bodies as the shrines they are. Please protect the developing embryos and keep them strong and healthy and let them implant Lord, as you knit all of us together in the womb. 

For all of the women who have faced a cycle that was unable to fulfill their dreams and have made the decision to try again, bless them, Father, for they carry on in spite of pain and disappointment. Strengthen their resolve and show them the joy of their commitment by blessing their homes with a new life in the cycle to come. 

For all of the women who have journeyed through the deserts and have found no more strength to carry on in the face of such bitter disappointment and frustration, shower them with Your Love. Give them peace and remove any grief and anger that they rightfully feel. Open their hearts and their souls to Your Word and to Your Will. Show them paths and choices that might lead them to the desired end. 

For those who have received the blessings of a child, protect their family with Your Strength, guide them to Your Way, show them Your Love and leave Your Imprint in their hearts to have them be beacons of light for the rest of the world. 

In Your Blessed Name, we pray. Amen.

IVF6, PUPO :)

So, we're now PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). 
The fertilisation was good, 5 eggs were mature, of them 4 fertilised with ICSI, one of those stopped on the first day, two of them have gone on from day two 3 cells and 5 cells, to day three 5 cells and 7 cells, and one of those went from day two 4 cells to day three 8 cells. 
There is a little fragmentation on the 8 cell, but not enough to stop transfer.
If I was allowed 2 embryos to be transferred then they would have also put the 7 cell back, but as I've had 3 c-sections then we have a single 8 cell embryo back where it should be.
Praying for a healthy sticky pregnancy/baby whilst trying to keep my feet on the ground and not expect too much.

IVF6, the supplements.

After what feels like such a massive change from our November cycle when only 2 eggs were collected, to this cycle and 6 amazing eggs retrieved, I've promised many people the list of supplements I've been taking. 
I collected various tips from lots of people/places online and these are the things that I tried;

Vitamim D3 10ug, me x1 & him x1
Organic flaxseed oil, 1000mg, me x1 & him x1
Selenium 50ug, me x1 & him x1
Magnesium (266mg) with zinc (10mg), me & him
Complete vit B complex, him x1
B complex with vit C, me x1
*Choline Inositol (Choline bitartrate 250mg & Inositol 250mg), me x1-2
Gentle iron 20mg, me x1 & him x1
Folic Acid 400ug, me x6-8, him x4-6
CoQ10 30mg, me x6-8, him x4-6
**Ubiquinol 300mg, me x2, him x1

Not forgetting it's lent, so we're both off alcohol and pop/fizzy drinks, and I'm also off caffine, bread and butter (and bed by 10pm).  Also, I actually only started taking the above everyday from the start of lent - Valentines day, so just a little over 4 weeks by the time we got to EC.
*When looking into Choline & Inositol I read that you shouldn't have more than 600mg as it can in fact reduce quality - hence why hubby and I were on different B vitamins, cause his had inositol already, so I decided to opt for mine separately.
**I ran out of ubiquinol the day before EC, so from then onward I took 2 extra CoQ10.

Things I had on my list to take but didn't get round to ordering;
Vitamin A
Vitamin E
Melatonin (this is a sleeping aid, and I co-sleep so decided against this, a walk in the morning is supposed to have the same benefit)
N-acetylcysteine
Alpha Lipoic Acid - this is one of the few things I found isn't compatible whilst breastfeeding, hence why I didn't buy any.
DHEA - also not compatible whilst breastfeeding.

I also bought 'it starts with the egg' and 'the IVF diet', but didn't get past a few pages with each as I'm just so busy!

In all fairness, I didn't have too much faith in the supplements making much difference, however it was the only real change we did on our 4th IVF which was a success, so it certainly wasn't going to do any harm trying ;)

IVF6, egg collection!

We're delighted!!!!
In November we got 2 eggs at collection, today we got SIX!!!!
This is equal to our most successful cycle (IVF4, which gave us our littlest blessing) as cycles 1-3 we only got 5, 3 and 4 eggs.
So happy, I feel silly to have doubted clinic having me on max dose lol!
Just the anxious wait to see how they get on tonight....

CD13, follie check....

What a positive morning!
Had my favourite consultant at the fertility clinic, he was an intern at the local hosp when I had a hetreotopic pregnancy in 2014, he was the only one that would listen to my concern about treating the ectopic baby without anyone checking on the uterine baby.... he took me immediately to see my favourite surgeon/head consultant (Mr G, now retired) who confirmed there was a baby in utero and to continue monitoring the pregnancy with the possibility of exploratory surgery for the ectopic - he is the guy who operated on me in 2004 when I had a 10 week ectopic rupture and was an emergency case, he saved and repaired me remaining tube, so we are grateful as we went on to have our second naturally....back to today.... The scan showed 6 follicles, L 1x 19mm, R 2x 19mm, 3x 14-15mm.
I continue to stim with 450 menopur tonight and trigger tomorrow, woohoo!

CD12 follie check....

What a relief to have a check at the fertility clinic!
Had the head consultant, she scares me a little lol, but at least she's the best!
The appointment left me a little surprised - there's no trigger happening today (last cycle EC was CD12).  Instead tonight I continue with 450 menopur and the down reg and go back to clinic for another check tomorrow.
The follies today were 1x 16mm on the right, and 4-6 follicles on the left (not sure of sizes, I think 2 of them were about the same as the right side follie though?).
At a guess I'd say EC might be Thursday?  This is a slight worry, clinic don't do 2dt anymore and a 3dt would be on Sunday when they're closed.... I'm going to have to get some courage to ask about this tomorrow - luckily my IVF/medical French is quite good lol!
So today is day 11 of stimming, which is a first for us.

CD8, follie check....

Like the last follie check (on CD6) this one is again at my local hosp as the fertility clinic is a 200km round trip....they're not quite as skilled as at the fertility clinic but at least today was better!
We have 5 follicles showing up today, 2 on the right and 3 on the left. 
At this moment in time it seems that this cycle is following our November cycle with 5 follicles, praying there's chance of this number going up....

CD6, follie check....

I'm not sure if todays follie check could have been much more disappointing?!
The sonographer can't have had much experience, 2 mins with dildocam and he gave up and tried an abdominal scan....erm, with severe adhesions my ovaries are always hard to find, there's not a chance an abdo scan would spot them!  The abdo scan lasted all of about 20 seconds lol, then lovely dildocam came out again.
4 follies (2+2)!  What, where's the other 3?!
And, he was measuring them at 4-6mm, on CD2 they were 4-7mm, what's going on....

Gotta lol, auto-correct wanted to change sonographer to pornographer 😆😝

IVF#6, CD2 - baseline scan (with endo)!

You know you're doing IVF when you've got a date with dildocam whilst on your period, yuk!
Last cycle I managed to have our date on CD1, which is much better for me as it's my lightest day, but CD2+3, with endometriosis added in, it's just horrid!
Luckily it was OK, I was first there so had time to go to the loo (twice) for a clear out beforehand, then after undressing (lower half) I popped my knickers between my legs to catch anything I'd missed, then kept them in my hand whilst on the couch and slipped them back on whilst still led down (so gravity didn't get the better of me) - luckily there was nothing and I escaped the room without any messy puddles and dignity still intact!

It was a good scan!
Last cycle (November) I had 3 antral follicles, they became 5 follicles with stimming but the cycle ended with just 2 eggs (only one mature) and no transfer....
....this time I have 7 (yes, SEVEN)!  I am delighted!  Not only that, but they're all around 4-6mm too, I did a quick bit of reading (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2800930/) and for CD2 these seem good sizes (the dr even gave me a print off with all the sizes - and I'm SURE there were a few smaller ones that he didn't count too).
I know for most people doing IVF, 7 follicles would be really disappointing, but as I've got low AMH and diminished ovarian reserve (DOR) then I'm really made up.  We also started with 7 on our successful cycle with our little IVF miracle.

Clinic phoned and I'm on max dose menopur again (450), I'm a little unsure about max dose again, it was a lower dose of 300 when it worked, however I have to remember that we're dealing with OAP eggs this time and clinic want this to work almost as much as we do - can we be a positive statistic again for them?

So my thoughts are, to stick with all the supplements I'm having - I will list them all and the dosage soon, to continue steering clear of caffeine/bread & butter, and of course.... NO alcohol!