Pfffffff, deflated.

Would someone just help my head take a step back and relax please.
I need to find my motivation.
I feel like IVF#7 is going to fail before it even begins.
4-5 weeks to go until CD1....

Disappointment.

Yesterday I had a line, it was pink and it was still visible hours after testing....


I thought maybe the other line at 8dpo was left over trigger, and this lay have been something fresh starting to implant, however that was just wishful as I didn't have a good feeling about the test or about anything being sticky if there really was something there....
CD1 today.

Admission....

I need to come clean, I did another DIY cycle....
I did menopur  (75 - so VERY small dose) from CD3 through to CD13 (not CD10 as I forgot oops), adding in a down reg on days 11/12&13.
I triggered CD13 (had a spare from IVF#4) so probably ovulated CD15.
I did get a very slight line on 8dpo, hubby could see it too and in real life there was colour (and it was clearer);

I don't know if it caused any damage, but I sneezed really hard whilst asleep (woke me up) that night/morning of 9dpo, if I don't bend and hold my section scar I always get a snapping type pain, so it makes me wonder if there was anything trying to implant, if I undid all the hard work....?
I'm 14dpo today and stopped progesterone at 11dpo, so should have af very soon (today I hope as want to crack on).
I've gained weight trying to take the relaxed approach through the 2ww, I'm so stupid!
Our follow-up appointment/booking in for IVF7 is next week, need to do a quick fix diet over the next few days.
I turn 39 next week, so I'd really like my birthday dream to come true please, if anyone out there could make that happen, lol!