I've been trying my best to ignore the worsening symptoms of endometriosis and possible adenomyosis but our new consultant phoned this morning (never, ever did our other consultant call to check on us!) to double check when I'm going in for a hysteroscopy.
We had planned that if the first FET didn't work, I'd book in for this, give my uterus a general check over and see if my endo was back, then crack on with FET#2. I'm pretty sure without a doubt the endo is back, so burying my head in the sand and hoping that just 'getting on with it' would bring us another miracle was my way of dealing with it....
....the consultant doesn't want us to waste an embryo, or go through the heartache of yet another failure that might have been avoided.
So at the end of this month I'm booked in for the check, he's not ruling out adenomyosis too due to the severity of my symptoms and pain. This is my fear, the only cure is a hysterectomy, I'm not ready for that yet and I feel very selfish about it.
I feel selfish cause I want it all behind me, I want to be able to be pain free, I'm tired of being stuck in the house cause my period is so heavy and clotty, I'm worried about cancer too, my nan had uterine cancer, my mum had a hysterectomy for endo mid 30s so it's not possible to know if she would have been susceptible to it, and my sister is currently being checked for some sort of cancer (bladder, bowel or uterine), the combination of endo/adeno and estrogen dominance are all markers that raise the chances of uterine cancer. However I'm desperate for one more child, and only having another child will stop my desperation (what if I have a hysterectomy and can't cope with not having completed our family). So sticking my head in the sand and ignoring it all has been the easiest option.
