BFN :(

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Gutted, obviously, but apart from that I don't know how I feel....numb, like I've lost something I didn't have in the first place....?

So, what happens next, clinic have said to wait for 2 afs, but as we do long protocol, does that mean we can start the cycle of the 2nd af - down regs beginning on CD21?

Why didn't it work, I had to really put my foot down for them to put 2 embies back, as they were perfect and I am young and fertile (erm, nope, isn't this why we're doing IVF?!), they were really positive about it not only working but they though both would stick too, so why haven't they?  Could I/should I have done anything different?  We had 8 follies (on last scan 3 days prior to EC they were between 17-23.5mm, so were they too mature?), and got 5 eggs, 4 fertilised by IVF (not ICSI as we were told we would need, yay!), 2 were PERFECT, 1 was good and they wanted to try and get it to blasto to freeze (never got that far), the 4th wasn't good.  

We had the two perfect embies put back, but they struggled to get the catheter around my section scars, could this have been a reason why it didn't work?

The clinic has a 10% success rate, which is pants really, but it's cause they take on the cases other clinic refuse, so I stupidly thought as long as we're in the 10% then I don't mind - we've got 2DDs already so they said our chances were higher.  Should we change clinic?

So, what do we do next, I have 600 of puregon left and 9 needles, should we do a DIY cycle - I only have one tube (due to ectopic rupture, thanks to my emc-section!), and the ovary that does have a tube doesn't work.  

But I did get 3 follies from this ovary for our IVF cycle on 150/200 puregon, and I've read you're more fertile after IVF, so might I have a follie on that side naturally next cycle anyway, or will it shrivel back up to what it was before?  During our 4 IUI cycles I only ever had 1 cycle with just 1 follie on that side, which was too small to go ahead with IUI - so if we did DIY with the left over meds, then it's unlikely to put us at a high risk multiples due to my one ovary/one tube, opposite sides?!  I wouldn't want to carry more than twins, so it is a concern if we tried this way, but I feel desperate :(

Opinions really appreciaited (no lectures though please, I'm feeling low enough as it is).

Thanks x