Bizarre!

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Right, something really strange happened on Sunday night (CD11), I was getting ready to hop in the shower, when I noticed my right boob was leaking!  Why?!  I stopped bf'ing when DD2 was 2yrs and 6 weeks, so that was 1st May 2008!!!!  I'm sure it can't be the IVF meds, as I've not had any since 18th Jan, so surely I would have been leaking before now?  It was clear and a bit sticky, like colostrum!

What could it be?  I do have really lumpy boobs, and I've had dr's check them several times over the last 9yrs, the last time was about 8m ago, as I've got a big hard bit on my right, but my mum has very lumpy boobs too, so I'm pretty sure it's something to do with that, but why does it leak?

I can't be preg, as I had bloods taken after IVF and they were negative, also I'm ov'ing at the mo - which I wouldn't if I was preg.

All suggestions welcome!

A quickie - if it helps others, SA ;)

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Just got the results in the post of our EC/fertilisation, they also have dh's *deposit* results.

Before it used to be 42million, with 7m normal, now it's 81m with 18m normal (the % of normal has more than doubled, yay!), our IVF didn't work but I am over the moon about these results - esp as it was good enough to do IVF without ICSI, which we were originally told we'd need!

So, what did he do?  Cut out beer and smoking cigars since Christmas (EC was 18th Jan), and then for the week before EC I had him on pregnacare (I'm sure this helped when ttc DD2 too), green tea extract, selenium and echinacea.  I know changes should take place 3m before any treatment but he was so relaxed and we truly thought we'd ICSI anyway, I only had him on supplements cause I was ill and wanted to make sure he wasn't!

Really hope this is of help to someone.

He is still on supplements now so hoping it keeps on improving :)

BFN :(

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Gutted, obviously, but apart from that I don't know how I feel....numb, like I've lost something I didn't have in the first place....?

So, what happens next, clinic have said to wait for 2 afs, but as we do long protocol, does that mean we can start the cycle of the 2nd af - down regs beginning on CD21?

Why didn't it work, I had to really put my foot down for them to put 2 embies back, as they were perfect and I am young and fertile (erm, nope, isn't this why we're doing IVF?!), they were really positive about it not only working but they though both would stick too, so why haven't they?  Could I/should I have done anything different?  We had 8 follies (on last scan 3 days prior to EC they were between 17-23.5mm, so were they too mature?), and got 5 eggs, 4 fertilised by IVF (not ICSI as we were told we would need, yay!), 2 were PERFECT, 1 was good and they wanted to try and get it to blasto to freeze (never got that far), the 4th wasn't good.  

We had the two perfect embies put back, but they struggled to get the catheter around my section scars, could this have been a reason why it didn't work?

The clinic has a 10% success rate, which is pants really, but it's cause they take on the cases other clinic refuse, so I stupidly thought as long as we're in the 10% then I don't mind - we've got 2DDs already so they said our chances were higher.  Should we change clinic?

So, what do we do next, I have 600 of puregon left and 9 needles, should we do a DIY cycle - I only have one tube (due to ectopic rupture, thanks to my emc-section!), and the ovary that does have a tube doesn't work.  

But I did get 3 follies from this ovary for our IVF cycle on 150/200 puregon, and I've read you're more fertile after IVF, so might I have a follie on that side naturally next cycle anyway, or will it shrivel back up to what it was before?  During our 4 IUI cycles I only ever had 1 cycle with just 1 follie on that side, which was too small to go ahead with IUI - so if we did DIY with the left over meds, then it's unlikely to put us at a high risk multiples due to my one ovary/one tube, opposite sides?!  I wouldn't want to carry more than twins, so it is a concern if we tried this way, but I feel desperate :(

Opinions really appreciaited (no lectures though please, I'm feeling low enough as it is).

Thanks x

Pre EC wobble :(

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

So, on Saturday morning my follies were measuring between 17 - 23.5mm, so EC is tomorrow.  HCG trigger was done last night and now I'm just a bag of nerves, I guess cause there is nothing else I can do now....

Also, our DDs are ill, full of colds, DD1 has been throwing up and DD2 has had the runs, so I'm full of a chesty cold too, really worried this is going to effect EC, it's clinic policy to do a general anesthetic for EC (although I could have demanded a local, but one of my ovaries is hard to get at, so guess a general is best for the pain).  I've been feeling soooooo sick too, I just feel they're going to say I'm not well enough for EC, what happens then?  I'm already dreading the next cycle (cause have quite a strong feeling this isn't going to work), the injections have been fine, but I've had horrid side effects and have been so tired and emotional, argh!  Not sure if I'll be doing round 2....

I take my hat off to the ladies who go through this more than once, knowing what they're letting themselves in for, what strong women they are!  

Sorry to be so negative, just needed to get it all out before I explode.  Feel free to give me a good slap to snap me out of it, lol!

To top it off, where I live they're very precautious, and I have to have a blumming enema tonight, it's going to act as a laxative, so the dr tomorrow doesn't have to bother about my bowels/being in the way, rargh!  I used to binge on laxatives (had an eating disorder), so I'm really not liking the idea of that :(  I just hope I don't poop myself during the 1.5hr drive in the morning....?!

Really hope my positivity comes back asap!

Phew!

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Well, that's it, trigger shot is done, there is nothing else I have to do now except wait until egg collection on Tuesday.

I was crapping myself about the HCG trigger, but it was by far the easiest of injections to do - even though I did it myself, in my own ass, lol!  I will never think of the phrase *needle in a hay stack* the same way again, from now on it's *needle in an ass crack* pmsl!  

I was worried I couldn't bend round enough to do it, but I sort of did it in my side ass iygwim (it's big enough lol)!

I was also worrying about mixing it correctly, as it said on the instructions there was a vial of solution and a vial of powder, but the powder looked like cream.... but as soon as I mixed it was fine, phew!

So, I don't have to do any more injections, until next time, I'm just praying that there doesn't need to be a next time.

Now to worrying about the egg collection, I'll be given a light general anesthetic, but I'm petrified as I'm full of a cold and I think the girls have gastro, just hope it's not cancelled, and that the 8 follies produce 8 lovely eggies and we have a healthy, safe bfp/baby.

CD1, yeehaa!

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Baseline scan is on the 6th, then I'll start stimming, yay!  Down regging has been fine, and apart from the banging head that I had for the first few days I'm glad to say I've had no side effects, yippee!

Happy 2011 to everyone, hope all your dreams come true :)

Banging head from down regging, gone :)

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Yay, well, today is day 7 of down regs and it's the first day in 4 that I've not had a banging head!  I'd usually blame it on alcohol or hereditary migranes, but this was defo the DR, as I've been feeling sick with it too.  

So, my top tip to anyone feeling they might have DR headaches is to drink drink and drink - water that is, lol!  I've had about 3 litres so far today, so I'm pissing like a fish, but I'm a happy fish!

Merry Christmas one and all :)

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Wishing each and everyone of you a wonderful Christmas  and that 2011 brings all those ttc a magical bfp; those with bumps grow healthy, happy babies; and those with babies/children have a happy, love filled year.

I also hope that those who are having hard, difficult times, are surrounded by love and find the strength from others to continue with whatever journey they're on, and that their happiness is just around the corner.

Much love, Krazee xxxx

1st injection done!

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Well, I had a few tears today, went to the chemist as I hadn't got an injection pen for my meds, so went to check with our neighbour, then she pointed out it says on our prescription that the nurse will come and do them EVERY day (we're not in the UK)!  So, I got all teary as my family are coming to visit over new year and they don't know about us doing IVF, I can't exactly hide a nurse in my handbag like I can an injection pen, lol!  I felt like a right spoilt brat getting upset, doh!

So phoned the hosp and they said I can do it myself, phew, so the nurse has given me a prescription for the pen, and I'm happy again - although....it blumming hurt, and the needle was bloody mahoosive (OK, only about 1 inch but MUCH bigger than the puregon pen needle I'm used to lol!), so now I'm thinking we should have the nurse come out daily, pmsl!  Can't wait for the down regs to be over and to start stimming, cause I can manage those injections just fine!

Really glad I could start today, it's 6yrs today since fil passed away, so it's nice to think today is the start of adding another member to our family :)


23/12/10

Did it myself tonight, yay!  Our neighbour (works at the chemist) ordered the needles/syringes for me and flippin heck are they mahoosive or what!  She's given me two sizes, a small one to draw the fluid out of the little bottle and mix into the other bottle with powder, and a big needle to swap over for injecting....but I did it the other way round, as that what the nurse did, it all went in fine so pretty sure that's OK doing it that way.

Eeeeeek, IVF meds are here, ready for tomorrow!

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Wow, it's all becoming real now, our neighbour has just dropped my meds off (she works for the pharmacy) and it feels a bit strange that we are actually going to do this - it's been our hope for a long time, ever since 2008 when I asked for fertility tests but got laughed out the drs door!

All we have to do now is arrange for the nurse to pop over and show me how to inject tomorrow, then we're all set to start down regs tomorrow evening :)

I've got Decapeptyl for down regs, but I've not heard of that before - and we didn't get an injection pen with the prescription, so I guess we'll get that when the nurse comes tomorrow?  I don't even know if the boxes should go in the fridge, the puregon (for stimming) has a note on it to go in the fridge, but not the rest.  I've got the hcg box too, I'm sure as it's hormonal it should be in the fridge, but it doesn't say on the instructions either, ahhhh!

So very excited, yay!

Hope I can sleep tonight :)

Old Blog Import, TTC#3

Well, af has arrived this evening (she has been very good and is 4 days early), so I am officially cd1 of our first IVF cycle, and I'm feeling excited, nervous, thrilled, worried and so, so emotional (in a good way, for once, lol!).  We're doing long protocol, so wont start down regs til 22 Dec (according to here).  If all goes to plan we should have egg collection mid January.  

Will have to ring the clinic tomorrow, as I'm all a fluster, I'm so excited I can't remember if I have a baseline scan at the start (cd2, tomorrow) or after the af I've had whilst down regging (early Jan), doh!

I feel like I should write more, but I'm so happy my mind is spinning lol!